Wednesday, December 30, 2015

2015...the good, the bad, and the ugly

Unfortunately, 2015 has more bad and ugly in it and less good. It has not been a good year for me, but that's the cycle of life. You take the bad with the good. Hopefully, along the way, lessons are learned. If anything, you learn to persevere. 


The bad:

  • 2015 started promising enough with a new job as a technical support representative at a call center. I have heard dreadful things about call centers, such as: stressful, low paying, no job security, it's a revolving door of employees. It's described as "the sweatshops of the office world". Yet, I thought how bad can it be? Well, the first call I took the customer swore at me and she also said I was working for a horrible company and that I should quit and find something else. It turns out she was right. Getting verbally abused by pissed off customers over the phone is not for me. I quickly left the job. This same call center company has called me several times over the summer trying to interview me for other call center positions, I turned them down. 
  • Saturday, February 7, 2015 was the worst day of the year for me. It was the day I had to put my beloved dog to sleep.  Crystal was 18 years old and old age was catching up to her. She sometimes had accidents in the house. She would walk into walls and bump her head, but she still loved her food, going outside for walks, and her napsMy dog always slept with me on my bed, but the day before she had an accident on my bed, so I put her in her dog bed to sleep for the night. The next morning, I woke up to the sound of something shaking on the floor. My dog was having a seizure and shaking uncontrollably. The shaking eventually stopped and she urinated on the floor. She also could not stand on her hind legs. I knew right away that it wasn't good. I immediately took her to the vet and he confirmed what I had known all along, that the kindest thing I could for her was to put her to sleep. I cried for weeks. People that don't have pets, don't understand. They really do become like your children. RIP Crystal. She was a sweet dog.


Puppy Crystal


Puppy Crystal with my nephew Andrew


Crystal at a Halloween party

  • Not getting any suitable job offers, in spite of going back to school (waste of time and money). I honestly think there is a bias against former Kodak employees and, of course, ageism is alive and well, although nobody will admit it. I wish I was in a position to retire, but I can't. I still need to work. If I don't find something soon, I will have no choice but to leave Rochester and move elsewhere where there's jobs. They are certainly not in Rochester, NY. It's ridiculous to be unemployed this long after all my experience.
  • Bally's Total Fitness, a gym that I was a member of for 20 years, suddenly closed. I didn't have a gym to go to. Luckily, I found World Gym and signed up.

The ugly:

  • The general ugliness of people on the internet. It seems I can't express an opinion without people attacking me and calling me every name in the book. The internet is full of bullies, stalkers, trolls and total strangers making inappropriate sexual comments. Why does the internet bring out the worst in people? I have no idea.
  • Financial concerns.

The good:

  • We finally sold my parent's house. Hallelujah! 
  • I have read some excellent books this year, which I have thoroughly enjoyed reading. They are: A Tree Grows In Brooklyn, The House of Mirth, Winter's Tale, Astor Place Vintage, Wild, and currently reading, The Secret Life of Bees.
  • I've rediscovered old friends and acquaintances. You know who you are.
  • I have learned to be thrifty and look for good deals.
  • For brief moments, I have felt like I don't want or need anything other than what I already have.
  • I started posting more on Facebook.
  • Zumba classes.
  • Good health and not getting sick.
  • A roof over my head.
  • A family member who I can rely on for help if I need it.
  • The courage and self-reliance to get through a bad year.


Goodbye 2015. Let's hope 2016 is a better year for everyone.

Happy New Year!





Sunday, December 20, 2015

The angel in the hospital waiting room

As we get closer to Christmas, I am once again reminded of my mother's death on December 25, 2007. It was a sad time for me, but I'm pretty sure I met an angel in the hospital waiting room.

I'll leave out all the details regarding my mom's illness, but my mom was brought to the hospital after she had vomited blood. She fell into a coma and was brought to ICU. Soon after that, the doctors told my brothers and I, there was nothing more they could do for her, so it was decided to put her in hospice care.

While I was at the hospital, I met an older woman in the ICU waiting room. Her husband was also in ICU and was in bad shape. She told me she came from the North country. I kept thinking maybe this woman came from the North Pole (silly me). I saw her a lot in the waiting room and she told me she was sleeping on the couch in the small back room which was connected to the main waiting room. She didn't want to leave her husband, even though her daughter lived nearby. I didn't want to leave my mom, so we both camped out in the waiting room. She slept on the couch in the small back room and I slept on the couch in the main waiting room. Her daughter would come to visit occasionally, but the woman was mostly alone. I struck up a friendship with my angel in the waiting room and we kept each other company at a difficult time. I remember we made each other laugh and it kept our spirits up. On Christmas Eve, her daughter and son-in-law brought us food and we had a little celebration in the waiting room. I just remember the kindness of strangers at Christmas time.

On Christmas Day, I went home to feed the dog and take her out. I went back to the hospital to see my mom on Christmas Day, but I didn't spend the night at the hospital. The next day, on December 26, I got a call from my brother that my mom had passed away during the night on Christmas Day. I felt guilty that I wasn't there when my mom passed, but the hospice worker, told me not to feel guilty and that it was impossible to be with her every second of the day.

I went back to the hospital to tell my waiting room angel that my mom had passed away. But before I did that, I stopped at Kmart. I remember I had seen an angel decoration at Kmart that had caught my eye. Luckily, the decoration was still there. I bought the decoration and brought it to the hospital to give to my angel friend. With tears in my eyes, I told the woman that my mom had passed away during the night. I gave her the angel decoration and she hugged me. I never saw her again after that day, but I always think of her as my angel in the hospital waiting room. I honestly think that in my darkest days and hours, God had sent someone to comfort me.

When death must come at Christmastime,
When death must come at Christmastime,
There is a special grief,
A mourning that must mix with joy,
A pain that must be brief.
There is an anguish underneath
The labyrinth of light
That longs for simple emptiness
To contemplate the night.
But life must bubble on its way
And pleasure be put on,
For neither sorrow nor delight
Is ever left alone.
And, like the Virgin, we must smile
With enigmatic grace
As we receive the fragile gift
That nothing can replace.



My beautiful mother with my beautiful niece.










Sunday, December 6, 2015

Snow Drops

Looking for an easy and delicious Christmas cookie recipe? Look no further than Snow Drops. Soft, buttery and delicious. They melt in your mouth.

Snow Drops

1 cup soft butter
1/2 cup confectioners sugar (sifted if lumpy)
1/4 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup finely chopped walnuts
2 1/4 cups flour
Confectioners sugar

Mix first 4 ingredients thoroughly. Work in flour with hands. Chill dough. Roll into balls about 1 inch in diameter. Bake at 350 degrees on ungreased cookie sheets until set--not brown--for about 10-12 minutes. Let stand for an hour to dry. Then roll in confectioners sugar.

Makes 40 cookies.

Here's what they look like.....YUM!

Christmas in downtown Rochester

I was looking at the Christmas decorations at Greece Ridge Mall today, which in my opinion, are not very good (there's nothing magical about wrapped Christmas presents). It made me reminisce about my own childhood Christmas in Rochester, NY. My mom always took me downtown to see the decorations and Santa Claus at Midtown Plaza, Sibley's Dept. Store, and Edward's Dept. Store. The memory I remember the most and loved the most is Sibley's Toyland. It was a magical and fun place.

When you were downtown, at Christmas time, it felt like Christmas. Tons of people carrying Sibley's and McCurdy's shopping bags, people bundled up to keep warm, buses whizzing by on Main Street, decorated store window displays, the buildings all lit up, the Salvation Army bell-ringers at the store's entrance. There was excitement in the air. You can't get that at the mall. I wish I had a wand to bring it all back, but sadly, it's not ever coming back.

Sibley's at Christmas

Entrance to Toyland, Sibley's

Toyland Sibley's
Perhaps at Sibley's or Edward's?
Sibley's window display
McCurdy's window display
Edward's Dept. Store
Midtown Plaza at Christmas
Entrance to Midtown Plaza

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

My all-time favorite TV shows

What is your top 10, all-time favorite TV shows? Here's my list in no particular order:

1. Mad Men



















2. General Hospital



















3. The Bachelor















4. Downton Abbey












5. Sex In The City

















6. The Mary Tyler Moore Show



















7. Dark Shadows












8. Friends


9. American Idol















10. Mr. Selfridge



















Sunday, November 29, 2015

The Office Casanova

I just finished watching the final episode of Mad Men on DVD and I was pleased with the ending. I don't want to give too much away for those of you that have never watched the show. You will have to watch it and find out for yourself. I certainly recommend watching it. In my opinion, it is one of the best TV shows ever made. I actually started watching the show in the middle of the series when I had cable TV, but I finally cut the cord and then started renting the DVDs at the library, starting with Season 1, which I had previously missed. So, you should start watching it at Season 1 or the rest of the series might not make too much sense.

So having watched every episode of Mad Men, Don Draper's character intrigues me the most. Having worked my entire career in an office, there is always at least one "Don Draper" serial philanderer in every office. Except when I was young and stupid, and didn't know any better, I learned to spot these characters. The "Don Draper's" of the world all share common traits, which are: very handsome, charming, polite, well-dressed, successful, divorced (because they couldn't be faithful to their wives), or confirmed bachelors. They are either in management or on their way up the ladder. At first, you are very flattered that this very handsome, charming, and successful man has any interest in you; then you find out he's not only dating you, but he's also dating five other women in the office. His excuse is always that he never made any commitment to you or that he's playing the field. Or course, this scenario always ends up in disaster and awkwardness. Basically, the "Don Drapper's" of the world are sad, unhappy people. Always searching for something they can never find. 

Hopefully, on the final episode, Don Draper did some soul-searching and finally found what he was looking for.







“I keep going to a lot of places and ending up somewhere I’ve already been.” Don Draper, Season three, Out of Town







Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Be grateful and give thanks...

But remember, there are millions of people less fortunate than you. Don't think for a minute that it won't happen to you. Life can change on a dime. Be grateful for what you have and don't take anything for granted.

http://national.deseretnews.com/article/6358/Living-on-2-a-day-the-new-face-of-extreme-poverty-in-America.html